即使不愿妥协，也要勇敢追寻梦想

“她站在电话机旁，头脑飞快地运转起来。她必须给不同人等发电报，然后给那家送日用品的商店打电话——不行，最好先叫清洁工，把恩德斯一家肯定留下的垃圾清扫干净。明智之举是……她知道自己笑眯眯的，一举一动都活力四射，充满信心，毫不犹豫。最好让蒂姆搬到二楼的空房间住，那里全天都能晒到太阳，看他的信，他的情绪很低落，需要一个愉悦的环境。”

spin飞转，in a groove墨守成规，deliver送货，undo消除，conviction深，take over接管，spare空的

凯特看了家里人的信-大家都快结束自己的假期，她本能地打电话安排一切，只为家人们回来有个干净温暖的家可以歇脚。spin in grooves用得真好，脑子沿着固定模式飞转思考，smiling，conviction，decision写出她擅长统筹家里的一切，从容自信。

She reached for the telephone. "Is that The All Purpose Cleaners?"she began, and saw that Maureen stood in the doorway, staring at her. Philip was behind her, his hands on either side of her waist, as if presenting her to Kate. Presenting something he had created? Maureen was different. The fantasy had gone out of her appearance. She wore a sensible suit, and her hair was wound in Gretchen braids around her head.

“她伸手拿起电话。“是通用清洁公司吗？”她刚张口就看见莫琳站在门口，直愣愣地看着她。菲利普在莫琳身边，双手轻扶她腰间，像把她呈献给凯特似的。呈献他一手创造的作品？莫琳变样了。那个古灵精怪的模样已经踪影全无。她穿着一身套装，一点儿都不花哨。头发编成辫子，盘在头上。”

stare at凝视，fantasy幻想，wind缠绕，all purpose通用的

之前菲利普，凯特，莫琳三人一起吃饭，菲利普很想改变莫琳，说不少人生活在水深火热中，而莫琳却花很多金钱精力打扮自己，让自己花枝招展的，他希望改造她成传统的妻子形象。俩个年轻人都抵抗不住彼此的魅力，但又固执已见。餐桌上激烈争论后，俩人出去玩了一趟后，衣着大胆艳丽的莫琳变回庄重的形象，这似乎是他的功劳，他创造的产品。

Kate was soon too deep inside skilled organisation to remember Maureen and Philip were there. Making herself a cup of tea, in an interval, she turned to offer them the teapot, when she saw they were not there, but in the bedroom. They were quarrelling. While she rang Mary Finchley to ask her to tell the windowcleaner they both used that a special visit would be needed, she turned to see Maureen, eyes red, face swollen, seated at the table. She was again staring at her.

“不一会儿，凯特就开始重操旧业，娴熟地安排这个安排那个，忘记了莫琳和菲利普的存在。她抽空给自己冲了杯茶，转身想把茶壶递给他俩的时候才发现他们已经走了，到莫琳的卧室去了。他们在吵架。她给玛丽·费切丽打电话，请她转告她俩共同雇佣的窗户清洁工，叫她专门上她家一趟。她转身看到莫琳，她双眼通红，脸颊肿胀，坐在桌上。莫琳直愣愣地看着凯特。”

in an interval一会儿

eyes red，face swollen看得出莫琳大哭了一场，让人忍不住心疼。

"Don't cry!" she called cheerily; and saw the girl's face set in hate. "Don't talk to me like that," said Maureen, and Kate was almost checked. Not quite: she was still at the height of pleasure at her own capacities, unused, she was feeling, for decades, not weeks. But she was looking at Maureen, as she listened to the telephone ringing in Mary's house. Mary was out. Kate put the receiver down, and saw that Maureen's face had gone slack and pathetic with the force of whatever woe she suffered. It was a little girl's face, and she stared at Kate in fear.

“别哭！”她和蔼地大声说，发现女孩脸色一沉，充满恨意。“不要这样和我说话。”莫琳说，凯特差点儿想放下手中的电话。还不至于：此刻的她正兴奋着呢，自己的本事又派上了用场——她觉得，自己好像歇了好几十年，而不是只有几个星期。不过，她还是一边看着莫琳，一边听着玛丽家的电话铃响。玛丽不在家。凯特放下听筒，看见莫琳脸上肌肉松弛，可怜兮兮的，不知什么事让她这般苦恼。这是一张小女孩的脸，满眼惊恐地盯着她。”

slack 松弛的，pathetic可怜的 woe悲伤，check停止

本来莫琳哭着眼睛，听到凯特说了别哭，脸色一沉，这一情绪变化让人忍不住想问这一简单的词为什么会激起莫琳的恨意呢，可能是凯特沉溺在自己安排家务世界的开心语气，可能她给莫琳一种母亲教育孩子的错觉，让她不要哭，莫琳觉得自己连最起码的权利-哭的权利都没了。

我代入了自己，小时候我哭的时候，我妈让我不要哭，我会忍不住越哭越凶，本来就委屈了希望对方理解，还被制止，这能好受吗。

莫琳耷拉的小脸，可怜兮兮的，联系上文到现在的情绪变化，让人忍不住想问到底是什么让大胆自信的莫琳变得这般脆弱。

Kate's limbs were beginning to understand that they had been in some kind of a fever which was now subsiding: they had already lost their pleasure in decision. Kate was all at once tired, and understood that she had been, for the last minutes, a little crazy. She stared at Maureen. Maureen stared at her.

“凯特的四肢先前一直处于高度兴奋状态，现在那股兴奋劲儿开始慢慢退却：刚才拿定主意的时候她的确非常开心，此刻却已兴味索然了。她立即觉得自己筋疲力尽，知道前几分钟的她，是有点疯狂了。她盯着莫琳。莫琳盯着她。”

subside减弱

Kate sat down and kept silent. She was thinking that she had indeed made a long journey in the last months. Before it she could not have sat quite, while a girl her daughter's age wept with misery because of her, Kate's, power to darken her future. Kate, at the other end of what she suddenly was feeling as a long interiorjourney, would have been "sensible," made balanced remarks of one kind or another, attempted consolation, because she had still believed that consolation could be given. Yes, that was where she had changed. She remarked, "Where I think you may be wrong is that you seem to be thinking that if you decide not to become one thing, the other thing you become has to be better."

“凯特坐下来，一言不发，心想，前几个月里，她真的走了很长的一段旅程。以前，她是不可能静坐一边，看着一个和自己女儿岁数相当的女孩因为她——凯特——觉得未来黯淡无光而失声痛哭。如果凯特此时身处在她突然感觉到的那漫长内心旅途的起始点，她会很“理性”，说些不偏不倚的漂亮话，想办法安慰安慰她——因为那时的她还是相信，安慰是管用的。是呀，这就是她的变化之处。她开口说道：“我想，你可能错了，你好像认为，只要决定不做这种人，那么选择成为的另一种人就一定会更好。”

interior内部的，consolation安慰

凯特心路历程发生了巨大变化，她从看到别人哭会条件反射给安慰，到现在静坐一边看着别人哭。并且她还总结莫琳以为不像她一样步入婚姻，为家里操心一切，她就可以获得另外一种人生而不后悔一样。因为凯特意识到自己出来旅游后，还是喜欢操持家务的感觉，她仿佛如鱼得水。她以为她探寻另一条不一样的路后，会后悔自己前半生的决定，但其实也没有。最后一句话可谓是整本书的点睛之笔，人无论选择什么样的路，都会经历苦乐。

Maureen nodded, without lifting her head. But she stopped crying, and after a time, straightened herself with: "All the same, when I was about ten I took one look at that and said I'd anything, I'd rather die than be that. It's awful. "

“莫琳点点头，没有抬起头来。但是，她不再哭了，过了一阵子，她挺了挺身子，说：“反正，我十来岁的时候，看见那个样子，我就告诉自己，只要不那样，叫我做什么都行，我宁死也不愿成为那个样子。太可怕了。”

"You're saying this to me because you have never been able to say it to your mother." She laughed, and said, "Probably at this moment somewhere in America Eileen is screaming at some poor female because she never had at me. She's only sulked. Muttered. Broken plates. Slammed doors. Pretended to be pregnant so the whole of the house was in suspense for weeks-the lot. You know," said Kate, in a sudden flush of pure hate, retrospective and nothing to do with Maureen.

“你对我说这些，是因为你从来不敢对你母亲说吧？”她笑出了声，然后接着说，“也许这会儿，在美国的什么地方，艾琳也在冲某个可怜的女子大喊大叫，因为她从来没对我这样。她只是……”

“生闷气、发牢骚、扔盘子、摔门、装怀孕，搞得全家人连续几周惶恐不安——就这类事儿。你都知道的。”凯特说，一种恨意突然涌上心头——她恨的是以前的事儿，和莫琳毫无关系。”

sulk生闷气，mutter嘀咕，slam砰地关上，in suspense让人的心悬着，flush一阵强烈情感，retrospective回顾的

Maureen said, "What are we to do? What? The thing is, I think I love Philip." Kate must have been looking something she was not aware of, for Maureen insisted, "Yes. It's not the first time I've been in love. This is it. Love. It's why one gets married. I was in love before and I know. I wouldn't marry him either. I'm not going to be one of that crowd."

“她说：“我想做什么？做什么？问题是，我想我是爱菲利普的。”一定是凯特看出了什么那女孩以前没有注意到的东西，因为莫琳嘴咬得很紧。“是的。这不是我第一次恋爱。就是这个东西。爱情。人们就是为这个东西结婚的。我知道，我以前也恋爱过。我也不会跟他结婚的。我不想成为那群人中的一员。”

"Which?" said Kate, having a fair idea. For one thing, the flat: Maureen paid the rent, and Maureen did not earn money. And she had the careless, almost callous self-confidence that is the property of a class. On the other hand, an accent, and that same self-confidence can be put on, is put on, and quite successfully, by waifs and by adventurers.

callous冷漠的，property特征，waif流浪汉，accent腔调

凯特对莫琳的家境进行了猜测，从她一自信的舞步，大胆的举止言谈，不在乎世俗眼光的态度，我觉得她更像是前者不差钱那种，

"The aristocracy," said Maureen. "No, not my family. Mine is just a good family, you know, nothing special. But I was asked in marriage by a younger son. William. He is very nice. He is as nice as Philip is when he isn't being so silly-oh listen to me, I say silly because I don't want to know, but silly isn't the word for what Philip is going to be when he gets going, I know that. But what he's suddenly become, you know, omelettes-and-eggs, that's quite new. He was just like everyone else before, but reliable, not opting out. It's terrifying," she wailed, tearing spattering, "what happens to them?

“贵族，”莫琳说，“不是，我的家庭不是。我的家境只是比较殷实——其实，没有什么特别的地方。不过，有个贵族家庭的小儿子向我求过婚。威廉。他人很好。他要不装傻的话跟菲利普一样棒——噢，听我说，我说他装傻，是因为我不想知道真正的答案，不过，菲利普做起事来绝对不傻。他突然变成那个样子，你知道的，想清除这呀那呀的，都是最近的事。他以前和我们大家一样，但还要更可靠些，从不朝三暮四。太可怕了。”她呜咽道，眼泪气势汹汹地流了下来，“他们都怎么了？”

opt out退出，wail哭号，spatter洒

But I would have been rich and everything with William, and I turned him downbecause of that crowd of his, you know, they never see anything that happens outside their little paddock, they're just nice and kind inside their paddock. So I'm not going to marry Philip after turning down William. But I love them, I do. When I fell in love with William I thought Hello, that's odd-so you want a strong man do you? But now I know it. First William and now Philip. I don't love Jerry. I don't love the others. I can't take them seriously.

“不过，要是我早先嫁给了威廉，我会很富有，什么都不缺，可我拒绝了他，因为他那群人——你知道的，从不过问自己圈子之外的事情，只对圈里的人友好和善。拒绝了威廉以后，我就不打算和菲利普结婚。但我爱他们，真的，真的，真的。我和威廉恋爱的时候，就想：嘿，真怪呀——你想找一个强大的男人，是吗？不过现在我知道是这样的。先是威廉，后是菲利普。我不爱杰瑞。我不爱别的男子。我对他们不认真。”

turn down拒绝，paddock围场，take sb seriously对人认真

outside the paddock和inside the paddock也用的很生动，指圈子之外和圈子之内的人和事。

I mean, my mind can, but something in me doesn't. It's true, isn't it? Women can say what they like but...Jerry has been my chum for years and years. He's another like me, you see. He's a general's son, believe it or not. He's walked out of all that, like me. He's a bum and he mediates. You know. It's a full-time job with him. The perfect all-time alibi. Oh-he's very nice, why do I knock him? I'm not any better? I don't do anything, and I live on my father. But if I've got to choose between a Jerry and Philip it's Philip every time. But I don't have to choose. That's something."

“就是，我的心里想来着，可我身上有些东西反对。是真的，对吧？女人说得出她们喜欢什么但……很久以来，杰瑞都是我的好朋友。他是另一个我这种类型的人，知道吧。他是将军的儿子，信不信由你。他离开了那些人，像我一样。他喜欢四处游荡，爱想事儿。你知道。他整天就做这个。多么完美的借口，什么时候都适用。是啊——他是个非常、非常好的人，我损他干吗？我不是跟他一样吗？我什么事儿都不做，靠老爸生活。可是，如果要我在杰瑞和菲利普中选一个，我每次选择的都是菲利普。幸亏我没有选择的必要。还好。”

bum流浪者，mediate协调，alibi不在场，chum朋友，knock挑剔

莫琳不敢跟自己母亲说的话，跟凯特说了，我感觉这其实是相互救赎吧，凯特从莫琳身上看到女儿的影子，莫琳从凯特身上看到母亲的影子，她们相互排斥却吸引着对方。莫琳说就算谈了那么多恋爱，也不想走上传统的为人妻母之路，她心里很矛盾。其实我很能理解莫琳，因为原生家庭之伤，我其实不想结婚生子，就算步入婚姻后，也不想对传统妥协，不想生孩子，经常与伴侣为这个问题争吵。我害怕那种柴米油盐的生活，我怕我因为生育不能追求我喜欢的自由，我不想过着看不到头的带娃岁月。我害怕我没足够的情绪管理能力，怕孩子跟着我受苦，重蹈覆辙。但如果我真不生育，我以后会后悔吗，我也不知道。

我曾经读过美国诗人Robert Frost的诗The Road Not Taken，里面有这么句话

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

两条路在林中分开，而我——

我选择了那条较少被人走过的，

而那改变了所有。

原文和翻译来自多丽丝·莱辛天黑前的夏天，关注我，和我一起从书里成长吧！